My Happiness Commandments

I'm a champion list-maker. I find the process of writing something down, doing it, and checking it off so incredibly satisfying. What I don't enjoy, however, is that for every item I complete, three more seem to take its place. And there are only so many hours in a day. And I'm just one person. And . . . and . . . well, all that doing gets exhausting.

Ironically, for a good two-plus years, my someday-maybe list has included "draft my own happiness commandments, a la Gretchen Rubin." (It's amazing how many fun, meaningful things on the someday-maybe list get brushed aside in favor of practical, boring things--like laundry and taxes--isn't it?)

Fast forward to today: I finally made the time to create my happiness commandments list. What I love most about this exercise is that there isn't a single task in sight. Everything on the happiness commandments list is meant to stay on this list. To-bes, not to-dos. And while I do love drawing a line through all those completed tasks, I'm quite alright with letting these 12 items stand.

So, without further ado . . . my list.

1. Everything counts.
2. You don't have to. You get to.
3. Invest in love--and invest in life. (And vice versa.)
4. Quality not quantity.
5. Great--not just good.
6. Avoid crinkly things.
7. Just do it.
8. No apologies, no regrets.
9. Rest your head.
10. Everything is a miracle.
11. Flap your wings.
12. Foresake comparison.

Like Lucy, there's some 'splainin to do on each of these. But for now, I can say that I've written my happinesss commandments--and cross that off of my to-do list.

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©2012 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because making lists--on heavy weight, wide-ruled paper with a fine point Sharpie pen (preferably blue)--makes me happy. (Photo by donireewalker via Creative Commons.)

Gratitude Roundup: Summer Lovin’

Alas, (not to be confused with  “at last”) it’s fall. Sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes are just around the bend. Scarves, too. (I love scarves!) And even though the calendar still says we have two more weeks of summer, I’ll always associate September 1 with fall’s unofficial start. Maybe it’s the latent meteorologist in me . . .

But before I usher in autumn, I must pay homage it its spunky little sister. This year’s summer was filled with things to love, both big and small. Such as: 

• Park trips aplenty with the pups and my beloved
• My best pal moving back east
• An indulgent, two-hour yin + vinyasa workshop with YogaThree’s Chanel Luck and Bonnie Argo
• Upleveling my life with creativity coach extraordinaire, Christine Kane
• An outdoor yoga class in the DeCordova sculpture park
• Learning how to hold ’em and fold ’em
• A new car (after a year-plus of being a one-car family)
• Hosting a fancy-pants dinner party at the Liberty Hotel (even though the hotel lost our flowers)
• My hair got crazy long
• Perfecting the art of cold-brewed iced coffee (thanks to smallnotebook)
• Front-row seats to see Willie Nelson at the House of Blues (and access, to the fancy-pants Foundation Lounge)
• Laughing in yoga classes with Boston’s omgal, Rebecca
• Cupcakes and iced coffee on the porch of a yellow Victorian with my best pal
• Discovering lovely, serene sittin’ spots around town
• Getting my geek on with this uber-addictive card game
• Digging my toes in the sand while sitting beneath my beach umbrella
• Taking lunchtime walks and snapping photos (like the one above) on my cell phone
• Falling in love with croonsmith Ray LaMontagne
• Playing bocce (win!) and mini golf (let’s not talk about that score)
• A leisurely, cloudy morning spent at a harborside coffee shop (with a new notebook in tow)
• A foodie gift bag from a friend, which included the most lovely jar of dandelion honey from Italy
• Trying new flavors at the ice cream stand up the street from my house (graham central—yum!)
• Eating raspberries in the parking lot at Russell Orchards, fresh from the field, still warm from the sun

I’m a simple pleasures kinda gal. Sure, a week on an island would have been lovely. But my memory of those raspberries is priceless . . .

"That much gathers more is true on every plane of existence."                                                                     --Charles Haanel

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2010 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because, so often, the little things can add up to something spectacular. 

Putting Gratitude Into Perspective

I have a to-do list that's a mile and a half long--and an I want to-do list twice that length. I have lists at work and and at home, about the pets, about my writing, and about yoga. About decluttering and simplifying. Healthy stuff, us time, the holidays, and volunteering. As a result, I start a lot of sentences with the words "I have to."

More often than not, Andrew corrects me, saying "No, you get to."

Touche, my dear.

With a simple switch of a word--I get to vs. I have to--suddenly the to-do lists seem less overwhelming. Gratitude replaces obligation. It's all about perspective.

Getting in the gratitude habit For as long as I can remember in my adult years, the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas has been a stressful time, complete with feelings of not living up to the stereotypical and commercial expectations. Blech. Totally defeating the spirit of the season, right?

Between now and Christmas--and hopefully long beyond--it is my wish to take time each day to focus on all that I have to be grateful for. All that I get to do. All the good that exists in our world. And all that I already have.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. (Image courtesy of allyaubry via Creative Commons.)

I'm Alive and Well

 After a ten-day courtship, we adopted this little girl from the city pound in Providence on Monday night. She had been there for just over two months before Andrew stumbled across her posting on Petfinder. Two months is a long time for a dog to have to wait to find a new home.

We weren't exactly planning on adopting another dog at this point--but she fit the criteria we were looking for (if we were looking). I protested the idea at first, but once we started talking about driving down to meet her, I knew this was for real. Why should we put off the things that matter to us? For whom exactly were we always being so practical? Instead, we chose spontaneity and followed our heart--an hour south, across state borders, to a warehouse full of displaced dogs.

After meeting her, we couldn't imagine not rescuing her. Nor could we imagine the alternative. The sacrifices we'd have to make in order for this to work were minor compared to the hand she'd been dealt--and what lay ahead. If she could smile and wag despite her situation, then certainly we could do the same.

On the drive down to pick her up Monday night, the song "I'm Alive" by Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews came on the radio. The first few verses gave me goosebumps:

So damn easy to say that life's so hard Everybody's got their share of battle scars As for me I'd like to thank my lucky stars that I'm alive and well

It'd be easy to add up all the pain And all the dreams you've sat and watched go up in flames Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain But not me . . . I'm alive

And today you know that's good enough for me Breathing in and out's a blessing can't you see Today's the first day of the rest of my life And I'm alive and well I'm alive and well

 Fitting words for a new lease on life.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. Extra fur and all.

Note Worthy

Last summer, I spent a leisurely long weekend in San Francisco where I filled my days with fresh air and sunshine, good coffee and good wine, and the company of one of my best friends. It was delightfully restful and not the least bit touristy. On my last day in town, while walking back from a yoga class at International Orange, I spotted a piece of paper nestled in some leaves alongside a chain-link fence separating a schoolyard from the street. Noticing a child's penmanship, I stopped to give it a closer look.

What a simple and profound message to come across! And written by someone so young. Heavy and light all at once. I snapped a photo and left the index card right where I found it.

A few steps later, I spotted this:

And then this:

Was this part of a school assignment? Remnants of the previous school year? Were they planted here as a pick-me-up for unsuspecting folks such as myself? Hands down, these three photos--and the experience of coming across these messages one at a time--were the best souvenir I could imagine bringing home back east.

I was reminded of this exquisite experience this afternoon when I came across a post on a very cool blog called Operation NICE that encourages individuals to be proactively nice. It's creator, Melissa, is brimming with heartfelt enthusiasm. Today on Operation NICE, she talks about leaving NICE notes, which are simply a few kind words penned for the benefit of a stranger. Much like those schoolyard notes I found at the intersection of Pine and Steiner, I have no doubt that a NICE note can have a profound impact on its passersby.

"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I cannot take it, like my heart's going to cave in."                                                                                                                    -- American Beauty

Have you ever come across something random and profound when you least expected it? If so, please share. I'd love to hear your stories.

 _________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. Tangible souveniers are so 1984. (All three photos are © Holly Sivec)

Luck Be a Lady(bug)

How many times has a bug landed on you and you just swatted it away without thinking twice? Or do you--like me--discriminate against certain bugs? (Spiders: bad. Ladybugs: good.)

If a ladybug lands on you it is considered to be good luck. And that little ladybug that landed on my right ankle this afternoon got me thinking about all the times I've found myself swatting away people. (Literally, not figuratively--of course.) Who are you? Where'd you come from? You're not a part of the plan. Shoo.

What would happen if I turned that perspective around and considered it a small stroke of luck each time a new person crossed my path? No, not every one of these people needs to play a starring role--or even a protagonistic role. But more and more so, I'm starting to realize that every one and every thing is here for a reason. Perhaps it's to inspire me in some way. Or he or she references a band that becomes a new favorite. Or challenges me. Maybe he or she simply offers up a kind smile or a good laugh when it's most needed.

It is also possible that I might be the one who has something to offer that person. There's no telling, really, what the reason for the encounter may be. Perhaps hindsight will offer up a few clues. But more often than not, these people come and go in our lives with no more than a second's thought.

I am certain, however, that the more often I make an effort to see the good fortune, the more likely I am to hit the jackpot.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. (Ladybug photo from Alex Bruda @ stock.xchng)

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