So Don't Give Up

When I was beginning along my yoga teacher training experience back in 2005 and feeling incredibly unsure of myself (Who am I to think I have something to offer these people? I can't even do a handstand. And my abs are *so* not flat.) I came across this quote:

"When you experience uncertainty, you're on the right path--so don't give up."

Yes! Reading those words made me feel validated, understood, and so capable. It took the stigma out of my fear of the unknown and my too-high expectations for myself. It made me feel like I was part of a club.

Talking about the end of my relationship has been a lot like that. Aside from the inherent sadness, the recovering perfectionist in me felt a little embarrassed about having not "made it." At first what felt like such a unique experience--so many years, such deep caring, such trustworthiness, and yet . . .--I came to discover just how many of my friends had experienced this before.  I was far from alone in this one.

But back to the quote about uncertainty. As I continued along that teacher training path, that quote became my mantra. Experience uncertainty. Don't give up. And over the course of time, I found my confidence. I found my voice. I proved to myself that I could do it. That uncertainty is not the flashing "don't walk" signal; in fact, it's quite the opposite. It's the "walk man" with the wind at his back. Uncertainty is just how the signal gets translated in your head. Your heart is saying "I've got this."

Then one day, with the teacher training experience behind me and a studio full of students before me, I ran these words through my head once again. Only they came out differently this time around. Having made it over the learning and the social curve, the quote had morphed into this:

"When you experience humanity, you're on the right path--so don't give up."

I remember looking it up when I got home from teaching to see if I had remembered it incorrectly. The new version made so much sense. It felt even more powerful than the original. The message I had received was that when you open  yourself up to people--when you simply show up and be yourself--insecurities, vulnerabilities, and all--people will meet you where you are. You won't be judged, chastised, or criticized. Relatability is revered. And since none of us are perfect . . .

But back to processing my relationship. I am grateful beyond words for the gracefulness of humanity that I've experienced these last two-plus weeks. Kind words, kind gestured, kind thoughts--and dozens of relatable stories--all in the spirit of creating and strengthening a bond. The transition before my eyes--from countless individuals to a united force--has been a tremendous feeling to experience.

Oh, humanity. Your "this" and my "this" may or may not be the same. But you have a heart and I have a heart, and that makes us so much more alike than not.

Soundtrack: "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel & Paula Cole.

This Thing I Love: The PS22 Chorus

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Have you heard about these kids? The PS22 Chorus is a group of fifth graders from a public school in Staten Island, NY. Their ebullient teacher, Gregg Breinberg, encouraged the school to let him start a chorus back in 2000—despite previous financial cutbacks to the arts. Fueled by a whole lot of heart and moxie, Breinberg launched a program that is nothing short of remarkable.

Mr. B., as he’s known, has introduced these kids to an unexpected repertoire: Tori Amos b-sides, haunting melodies from Bjork, iconic ’80s tunes, and big hits from artists like Lady Gaga and Coldplay. Sophisticated lyrics, but there’s something about the kids’ renditions that showcases their innocence and pure potential—and makes you want to write a huge check to the Save the Music Foundation.

So inspiring!

Not to mention, I just adore their Peanuts character dance moves.

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Check out all of the PS22 videos (there are hundreds more just as cool as these) at www.youtube.com/user/agreggofsociety.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2010 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because even though I believe the children are our future--I don't need to hear them sing any Whitney. That would be whack.

Cheesy Gifts

In the car on the way home from work this evening, in the middle of our how are yous and how was your days, Andrew announced that he had a gift for me. He reached into his coat pocket and handed me a piece of paper. It was a coupon for a dollar off on Sargento cheese. Actually, it was two coupons. "One for now, one for later," he proudly reported.

I laughed, he laughed, and it was all good. Really good. Even though I can't remember the last time I actually used a grocery store coupon, that moment of a shared chuckle after a long day was exactly I needed.

Plus, I love cheese.

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."                                                                                  --Victor Borge

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. And to find lots to laugh about.

The Lost Art of Writing Letters

 

Here’s what I received in the mail yesterday: catalogs from Crate & Barrel and L.L.Bean and a coupon from Bed, Bath & Beyond. The day before that it was grocery store circulars, something from American Express, and a postcard from Lucky Brand jeans. In all, a whole lot of nothing. If the U.S. Postal Service is going to cut back on its delivery days, that’s fine by me.

(Insert wistful sigh . . . )

I love both sending and receiving letters in the mail. But with cell phone use, e-mail, text messages, IM, Facebook, and so on, I fear the days of sitting down to pen a letter are long gone. Even when we do “care enough to send the very best” usually that means just picking out something with a canned sentiment and just jotting our name to the inside. Does that make you sad? It makes me very sad. 

In my bedroom closet, I have boxes full of letters and cards that I’ve received over the years. Each one a snapshot of how our lives converged. Each one a bit of history. In my old-fashioned opinion, an online folder full of e-mails simply doesn’t make the grade. There’s just something about having the paper in hand, words inked, that gives the message a greater sense of value. It’s why I can’t send a card without adding my own touch. It’s why I have a drawer full of stationery.

While watching all of the news coverage on the late Senator Ted Kennedy, I was pleased to learn that he too was an avid letter writer. From notes of congratulations to the coaches of Boston’s sports teams to annual letters of condolence to Massachusetts’ families who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks–and much more–here was a man who understood that well-chosen words are a lasting gift.

It need not be a whole “Dear so and so” type of letter with paragraphs. Even just a personalized sentence or two inside a store-bought card is meaningful. Or a postcard. Heck, even a Post-It note can be special. Just as long as they’re your own words.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less (fleeting, electronic correspondence) really is more. Though, on occasion, I’ve been known to send a few of these delightfully sarcastic e-cards. (Image courtesy of Timothy Lloyd via Creative Commons.)

Related posts: My Manifesto

Ice Cream Cones Are Eco-Friendly (and Other Thoughts on Precycling)

Think before you spend. I've heard it before, a thousand times over, and I bet you have, too: this concept of pausing before making a purchase in order to avoid buyer's remorse.

A couple of weeks ago, while flipping through an issue of TIME, I came across a word that puts a new spin on this old adage. Have you heard of precycling?

Simply put, precycling is a way of reducing waste by limiting consumption. But it's not just a way of saying, "Hey, don't buy that." Rather, precycling encourages you to consider the packaging whenever possible and make the most environmentally responsible choice. Let's take ice cream as an example:

You're next in line at your favorite ice cream shop and have your heart set on some cool, creamy hazelnut. "Cup or cone?" the guy behind the counter asks you. Assuming the temperature is not in the triple digits and you're not going to be walking along cobblestone streets in high heels, you go with the cone for its edible receptacle. No paper or (gasp!) Styrofoam cup, no spoon, no straw, no lid. Just a little, biodegradable paper wrapper.

There are countless (easy!) ways to bring a precycling mindset into your daily life:

• Bring a travel mug with you to the coffee shop (or take a seat and enjoy your java in a ceramic mug)
• Buy the whole head of romaine lettuce rather than a cellophane sack of pre-cut leaves
• Squeeze your own orange juice (so much better than the stuff in a carton)
• Use the reverse side of your print-outs as scrap paper rather than buy a new notebook
• Say no to paper napkins, plastic forks, and wooden chopsticks with your take-out (You do have your own travel utensils, right?)
• Choose bar soap over a plastic bottle of shower gel

Maybe, like me, you're already an avid precycler and didn't even realize it. Just having a name to put to it makes it even easier to think of all the ways you can reduce excess waste or increase the return on your original investment. Really, the opportunities are endless.

What environmentally minded, economical changes have you made in your own life recently? Please, do tell. It's the little things, I believe, that really add up!

P.S. Speaking of little changes, I highly recommend Vanessa Farquharson's blog, Green as a Thistle,  for oodles of inspiring eco-minded things you can do to greenify your life--including sleeping naked. Check it out.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less really is more. (Image courtesy of mollypop via Creative Commons.)

Note Worthy

Last summer, I spent a leisurely long weekend in San Francisco where I filled my days with fresh air and sunshine, good coffee and good wine, and the company of one of my best friends. It was delightfully restful and not the least bit touristy. On my last day in town, while walking back from a yoga class at International Orange, I spotted a piece of paper nestled in some leaves alongside a chain-link fence separating a schoolyard from the street. Noticing a child's penmanship, I stopped to give it a closer look.

What a simple and profound message to come across! And written by someone so young. Heavy and light all at once. I snapped a photo and left the index card right where I found it.

A few steps later, I spotted this:

And then this:

Was this part of a school assignment? Remnants of the previous school year? Were they planted here as a pick-me-up for unsuspecting folks such as myself? Hands down, these three photos--and the experience of coming across these messages one at a time--were the best souvenir I could imagine bringing home back east.

I was reminded of this exquisite experience this afternoon when I came across a post on a very cool blog called Operation NICE that encourages individuals to be proactively nice. It's creator, Melissa, is brimming with heartfelt enthusiasm. Today on Operation NICE, she talks about leaving NICE notes, which are simply a few kind words penned for the benefit of a stranger. Much like those schoolyard notes I found at the intersection of Pine and Steiner, I have no doubt that a NICE note can have a profound impact on its passersby.

"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I cannot take it, like my heart's going to cave in."                                                                                                                    -- American Beauty

Have you ever come across something random and profound when you least expected it? If so, please share. I'd love to hear your stories.

 _________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. Tangible souveniers are so 1984. (All three photos are © Holly Sivec)

Luck Be a Lady(bug)

How many times has a bug landed on you and you just swatted it away without thinking twice? Or do you--like me--discriminate against certain bugs? (Spiders: bad. Ladybugs: good.)

If a ladybug lands on you it is considered to be good luck. And that little ladybug that landed on my right ankle this afternoon got me thinking about all the times I've found myself swatting away people. (Literally, not figuratively--of course.) Who are you? Where'd you come from? You're not a part of the plan. Shoo.

What would happen if I turned that perspective around and considered it a small stroke of luck each time a new person crossed my path? No, not every one of these people needs to play a starring role--or even a protagonistic role. But more and more so, I'm starting to realize that every one and every thing is here for a reason. Perhaps it's to inspire me in some way. Or he or she references a band that becomes a new favorite. Or challenges me. Maybe he or she simply offers up a kind smile or a good laugh when it's most needed.

It is also possible that I might be the one who has something to offer that person. There's no telling, really, what the reason for the encounter may be. Perhaps hindsight will offer up a few clues. But more often than not, these people come and go in our lives with no more than a second's thought.

I am certain, however, that the more often I make an effort to see the good fortune, the more likely I am to hit the jackpot.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. (Ladybug photo from Alex Bruda @ stock.xchng)

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