When I was beginning along my yoga teacher training experience back in 2005 and feeling incredibly unsure of myself (Who am I to think I have something to offer these people? I can't even do a handstand. And my abs are *so* not flat.) I came across this quote:
"When you experience uncertainty, you're on the right path--so don't give up."
Yes! Reading those words made me feel validated, understood, and so capable. It took the stigma out of my fear of the unknown and my too-high expectations for myself. It made me feel like I was part of a club.
Talking about the end of my relationship has been a lot like that. Aside from the inherent sadness, the recovering perfectionist in me felt a little embarrassed about having not "made it." At first what felt like such a unique experience--so many years, such deep caring, such trustworthiness, and yet . . .--I came to discover just how many of my friends had experienced this before. I was far from alone in this one.
But back to the quote about uncertainty. As I continued along that teacher training path, that quote became my mantra. Experience uncertainty. Don't give up. And over the course of time, I found my confidence. I found my voice. I proved to myself that I could do it. That uncertainty is not the flashing "don't walk" signal; in fact, it's quite the opposite. It's the "walk man" with the wind at his back. Uncertainty is just how the signal gets translated in your head. Your heart is saying "I've got this."
Then one day, with the teacher training experience behind me and a studio full of students before me, I ran these words through my head once again. Only they came out differently this time around. Having made it over the learning and the social curve, the quote had morphed into this:
"When you experience humanity, you're on the right path--so don't give up."
I remember looking it up when I got home from teaching to see if I had remembered it incorrectly. The new version made so much sense. It felt even more powerful than the original. The message I had received was that when you open yourself up to people--when you simply show up and be yourself--insecurities, vulnerabilities, and all--people will meet you where you are. You won't be judged, chastised, or criticized. Relatability is revered. And since none of us are perfect . . .
But back to processing my relationship. I am grateful beyond words for the gracefulness of humanity that I've experienced these last two-plus weeks. Kind words, kind gestured, kind thoughts--and dozens of relatable stories--all in the spirit of creating and strengthening a bond. The transition before my eyes--from countless individuals to a united force--has been a tremendous feeling to experience.
Oh, humanity. Your "this" and my "this" may or may not be the same. But you have a heart and I have a heart, and that makes us so much more alike than not.
