On Butterflies, Elvis, and Somebody Else's Aunt Edna

A few months ago, I posted something hugely sentimental on Craigslist: a butterfly-shaped candle holder that my boyfriend had bought for me when we first started dating—way back when Eisenhower was president. Or maybe Clinton. I don’t know; it was a long time ago. Anyhow. The candle holder was tremendously sweet, albeit not quite my style. Nevertheless, I held onto it for years, giving it a place of honor on my dresser. Then on top of a bookcase. Then on top of a stereo speaker. Then on top of a pile of miscellaneous things in our spare room closet.

That’s just no way to treat a pretty, little thing. Especially one with such sentimental value. After much deliberation, I posted it in the free section along with everyone else’s cast-offs. But in the ad, I told a little story. I wanted to make sure the person who inherited this candle holder knew its history. And more important than that, I wanted to know theirs. At least a little bit of it.

Boy, did the e-mails pour in! Several people just wanted to tell me that I was crazy for giving away something so sentimental. (Thanks for the guilt trip!) Others, in typical Craigslist fashion wanted me to call them if it was still available, disregarding my interest in why they were interested in my candle holder. And then there was this guy who wanted me to deliver it to his Aunt Edna. Despite my “you must come and pick it up” rule, I agreed to make this special delivery without hesitation.

One of her elderly friends had recently passed on, and despite Edna’s usual upbeat disposition, her nephew knew that she was hurting. He said that if I could just leave at her door with a note that it would absolutely brighten up her day. Aunt Edna loves anything and everything with a butterfly motif, and would most certainly give it a good home.

Aunt Edna lived in a public housing complex that was not too far out of the way on my way home from work. It was an unseasonably warm day—our first after a long winter—and my boss let us out a bit early. Perhaps it was all this bright sunshine, or the gift of time, or knowing I was going to brighten up a stranger’s day, but rather than leave the candle holder in Aunt Edna’s lobby, I had decided to ring the buzzer and deliver the gift-wrapped candle holder in person.

After a few technical difficulties, Aunt Edna buzzed me in. I stepped into the elevator and wrapped my way down the institutional-looking hall. Standing in the doorway was a short, grey-haired, smiling lady, ready to welcome me into her home. In an instant, I recalled all the after-school specials and cautionary tales of my youth that warned me about unsuspecting strangers, brushed aside my qualms, and stepped into her apartment.

Aunt Edna was delighted to have a visitor (her nephew had given her a head’s up that I’d be coming that day), and in her sweet, septuagenarian way, proceeded to tell me the story behind each and every one of her butterfly knick-knacks—as well as her Elvis memorabilia, and the lone rooster decoration from her ex husband. She introduced me to her family members, both living and passed, whose pictures hung on her metal closet door, and showed me the 40-year sobriety medallion that she had received at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting the night before. She whispered as she spoke. “It’s not something that everybody in the building needs to know about me.” The butterflies she surrounded herself with gave her a reliable sense of carefreeness and joy.

A good 45 minutes later, after we recounted the stories of so many of her belongings, Edna gave me a hug and thanked me for choosing her to take good care of the butterfly candle holder from my beloved. She had set it on an end table in her living room, right in front of her rotating fiber-optic butterfly lamp. A place of honor, no doubt.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2010 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because the perfect space for that knicknack may be in someone else's home. (Amazing, luminous butterfly photo by audreyjm529 via Creative Commons.)

Made With Love, Covered in Dust

There are a few things on my not-for-me list: sushi, anime, tanning beds, and tchotchkes are four that come to mind. I have no problem dodging the first three. Tchothkes--those little knick-knacks around your home that serve no real purpose other than to collect dust--have a way of cropping up around my home. Exhibit 4,832-b: this little handmade pottery jar that was specially designed for . . . um . . . my clever retorts. Note the sprig of holly etched on the front. Clever Retorts

True, I'm full of clever retorts, witty comebacks, and the occasional snarky remark. And I do have a soft spot for things adored with holly. But what was I supposed to dowith this jar? Fill it with my written quips? Rubber bands and binder clips? Grocery and pet store receipts? (Yes, I know that last one doesn't quite rhyme--though it looks like it should. Doesn't it?)

Craigslist to the rescue--again. Yay!

I posted an ad in the free section and got two respondents: one from a guy who had to get something for his friend's birthday tomorrow and wrote "She loves crap! When can I come pick it up?" (Hey, you're not allowed to call it crap. Only I can do that.) And the other respondent was a polite and friendly woman who said she "adored" my clever retorts jar and would be happy to give it a new home. Perfect! This cute, little handmade pot--while not my style--deserved to go to a good home.

What's even better than finding this doodad a new home is that its new owner rode her bike to pick it up--from four or five towns away. Way to cut back on the carbon footprint!

And while I'm bummed that I didn't get to meet its new owner (I love being able to tie a face and a name and a story to my old possessions, if you haven't noticed), I'm delighted to know that this quirky little catch-all (or catch-nothing, as was its case in my home) is sitting pretty on a kitchen counter waaay on the other side of Boston.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space--mentally and physically--to live happily ever after. One tchotcke at a time.

Donating Shoes: Soled On the Idea

Inky keeps a nonchalant watch over our Soles 4 Souls donations. I've never been one to splurge on shoes, nor do I have a vast collection. However, I've been hanging on to quite a few pairs that I no longer wear. Some are a bit out of style, while others are in need of a little repair; functionally though, they are all in okay shape.

Over the years, I have donated quite a bit of clothing to Big Brothers/Big Sisters and the Vietnam Veterans Association, but for whatever reason I've never really thought to donate my old, worn shoes. A few months back, however, I came across a photo spread in National Geographic's  Green Guide that completely changed my mind. (Check it out here: What Happens to Donated Shoes.)

Soles 4 Souls, the program featured here, collects new and used shoes for both children and adults whose lives have been impacted by tragedy or hardship. Inspired by the sight on television of a single shoe washed ashore following the 2004 tsunami that hit Southeast Asia, its founder Wayne Elsey, has overseen the donation of more than 3.4 million pairs of shoes to date. He estimates that, throughout America, there are 1.5 billion pairs of unworn shoes in our closets. Billion. I can easily account for a dozen or so pairs.

I rooted around in our hallway closet and dusted off the shoes you see above, bundled each pair together and dropped them off at a nearby collection site. Easy as that. Find a collection site near you. 

"Buy better, buy less."                                                                                                                  -- John Fluevog

I've always preferred quality to quantity. Give me a handful of cashmere sweaters over a cedar chest full of pilly blends. A couple of classic handbags over an array of knock-offs. A few pieces of real jewelry over a mound of the costume stuff. But on many occasions I've cheaped out on shoes (a) because I'm pretty hard on them and (b) because they're waaay down there and I don't think anybody really notices (or cares) what's on my my feet.

While I'm happy that I was able to fill the Soles 4 Souls box with so many pairs of shoes from my own closet (and there are more to come), I'd much rather embrace the John Fluevog approach and be more selective in my shoe purchases, thinking about the long-term socioeconomic benefit. While the dollar amount may be low, it's the "hidden" expenses (like sweatshops) that don't sit so well with me. I'm sure some of my shoes came from less-than-ideal conditions, but I'm happy to know that they will be put to continued use. And in the future, I'll think twice before buying a new pair of shoes.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less really is more.

It's Gonna Take Time . . .

suitcases  

Suitcases. I've been driving around with a dozen suitcases and duffel bags in the back seat and trunk of my car our car for the past week. To anyone who has caught a glimpse inside of the car, we've probably looked like vagabonds. But the truth of the matter is, these suitcases and bags were destined for foster care kids. Kids who otherwise would be carrying their posessions from one place to the next in plastic garbage bags. And that breaks my heart.

The collection was to help out a friend of a friend of a friend who is helping Suitcases 4 Kids in its mission to collect 14,000 suitcases for foster kids in Massachusetts over the next year. According to its Statistics page, there are over 510,000 kids in the United States under the age of 23 who are living in foster care.  That's nearly as many people as you've got in the entire city of Boston. I hate to think there could possibly be that many displaced kids across the United States. While I'm not at a place in my life where I could reasonably take on a foster child myself, I could certainly root around in my attic and dig out a few unused suitcases. My friend Ehrin did the same, and my boss even bought two duffel bags for me to add to the collection--one with pink handles and another with blue. A thoughtful touch, for sure.

But back to the suitcases bumbling around in my back seat. After a day or two of carting these things around (and playing lots of phone tag with the suitcase sherpherd), I'll admit--it was tempting to just deposit them in the big Red Cross donation box in the grocery store parking lot and be done with it. Once I've committed to giving something away, I'm ready to release it--clearing my clutter while knowing that somebody else will be able to benefit from it.

But the point wasn't to put these suitcases and duffel bags into just anybody's hands. They were specifically for the foster care kids. And if I was feeling a little antsy about the donation process taking a little longer than expected, well imagine how those must kids feel.

Tonight, at last, I was able to hand over all of the bags. Still, it will probably be a little while before they make it to the foster kids. Even the best of intentions, however, becomes a process once there are adults involved (myself included). Between busy schedules, social calendars, and unexpected situations, we do our best. Patience seems to slip to the wayside when there's a to-do list involved. But in order to do good by all those anonymous kids, patience is key. Just doing something to help is what's most important.

_________________

Live in the Boston area or anywhere near Hartford or New Haven? Have some suitcases you'd like to donate? Let me know!

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less really is more. (Image from KiddoInfo)

Send Me On My Way

It has been a Craigslistin' kind of week . . . I've had these two, tiny little guardian angel lapel pins for nearly 20 years. Back in the day, they were all the rage. Okay--maybe not all the rage, but they were fairly popular at this little new age jewelry/gift store in my hometown of Madison, CT, called Down to Earth. So I bought a couple and, sadly, never wore them. Instead, they sat in a little mauve velvet compartment in my jewelry box.

Today, I packed them up and sent them on their way to a woman who works in a nursing home. She has two residents who are getting ready to move out on their own, and thought that having a little guardian angel to make the transition with them would provide some needed comfort. 

Guardian angel lapel pins, on their way to do their job . . .

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less really is more.

This Little Piggy Bank

My little old piggy bank from Epcot, circa 1984. I remember peeling the dollar bills out of my red Velcro wallet back in 1984 to pay for this cute little piggy bank that I bought for myself at the China pavillion at Epcot Center while on a family vacation. For years, this piggy bank sat on my dresser, holding coins for vending machine goodies; later, quarters for the washing machines at college. Eventually, the rubber stopper on the bottom disintegrated and the joy of dropping a coin into the money slot was a thing of the past. But I wasn't ready yet to part with this rosy-cheeked piglet with the endearing smile. So, I carried her from one home to the next, knowing someday I'd find her a new owner. Who could resist that face?

I posted the bank on Craigslist and soon after received an e-mail from a woman (also named Holly) who thought the smile on the piggy bank reminded her of her husband--and that made her smile. Her story charmed me, and even though that little bank no longer sits on my dresser, I have a permanent memory of its silly little smile.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less really is more.

Putting Good Fortune into Perspective

freshwater_pearl_necklace I received this pretty little freshwater pearl necklace from some distant relatives when I was in--I'm guessing here--the eighth grade. Birthday? Christmas? The details are fuzzy. This branch of the family tree was sporadic in its gift giving. Not that gifts should ever be expected, but we just weren't that close with one another, bloodlines or not. Perhaps that explains why I never developed a sentimental attachment to this necklace. Most of the jewelry I wear has a little story behind it, like Gramma Rita's peridot ring or her lovebirds necklace. This necklace did not. After nearly 20 years of it sitting in my dresser drawer, I decided it was time to give it a new lease and connect it with someone who would feel a sense of attachment to it.

I posted it on Craigslist in the free section and explained my desire to give this piece of jewelry a story and meaning and a sense of value. My one request was to know why they were interested in my old piece of jewelry--something beyond it street value. I figured the right person would present him or herself in time.

In fact--quite a few people would have given this necklace the sense of value I was looking for. People opened up to me. It was overwhelming and heartwarming and more than a bit humbling. Throughout my life, I have been fortunate to receive a number of beautiful pieces of jewelry--both heirlooms and new pieces. I know that I'm lucky for all that I have, but this quest of connecting my old necklace with a new owner helped me see that luck and good fortune are not all about an accumulation of things.

I gave the necklace to a woman named Michelle who, quite simply, wanted it for herself. Her story was honest and personal and full of promise, hope, and goodwill. She was a hard worker with a big heart--strong on the outside, sensitive on the inside--and had been a giver her whole life. However, her interest in this necklace was not coming from a place of "it's time for me to receive a little something." Rather, she was on the cusp of making some healthy, positive changes in her own life--all the while dedicating herself to giving her daughter a life of abundance. This pretty piece of jewelry was a way to comemorate the woman she is--both where she has come from and where she is headed.

Being well off has little to do with money and everything to do with perspective. That's the lesson she taught me. Finally, that little necklace has a sense of meaning. I need not have it around my neck to remember its story.

_________________________________________________________________________ © 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because less really is more.